5 Hilarious Police Reports About Animals

People aren’t the only criminals, animals can break the law as well. Police officers have to respond to emergency calls, and sometimes the police report turns out to be hilarious. Check out these hilarious criminal reports. We jokingly hope these animals have a good criminal defense lawyer!


Monday night must have been quite the party. Police offers were called to investigate some supsicious activity around a Mill. Apparently somebody heard machinery running late at night when it shouldn’t have been. Criminal defense attorneys were lining up in hopes of another client, but what the police offers found took the air our of the criminal defense attorneys hopes. Apparently after calling the owner, it was found to be stray cats that accidentally turned on the heavy machinery.


Trespass charges were luckily not filed on a suspicous turtle that was found on the front lawn of a woman’s house. She called the police were called and the woman was asking what to do with the upside down turtle. Police recommended she flip the turtle over, but much to the surprise of the lady, the turtle apparently had no arms or legs! Officers told the lady don’t worry, just leave the turtle alone, and it turns out the turtle fled in an unknown direction before trespass charges could be filed.


It doesn’t take a criminal justice major to tell you that there’s always some bad apples in every population, no matter the species. One person called the police complaining about a belligerent squirrel who wasn’t letting him get to his boat dock. The caller said he knew he couldn’t do anything about it, but he just wanted to let the poilce station know what kind of squirrels are running amok in the town.


This man probably tried finding a hit and run lawyer, but we’re pretty sure nobody was going to take his case. According to the police report, this man was ran over by a cow as he was riding his bike. Luckily he wasn’t injured, but the cow hit the bike so hard it was considered totalled. Hopefully he had some bike insurance!


I never want to move where this police report was filed. Apparently Sapsucker Road has some gang activity, but not of the stereotypical gang members you’re thinking of. This disturbance was caused by animals with guns. We’re unsure what type of animals, what type of guns, but whatever happened we want to stay well away from!